N'Dia's English Blog

 MY FOOT! Why, because I have a lymphoma on my right foot on my arch, no my arch didn't drop. I got surgery on it in 7th grade, and now it has come back, as the doctor said it would. Since this is my senior year I will not be getting surgery on my foot because I want and will be cheering this year. another thing is racial discrimination, this topic is irritating and very out if control.  

I planned to be captain of the cheer team, I planned to pass all my classes, I planned to be the best daughter I can and will be, I planned to be the most truthful friends someone could ask for. I am planning to become HER.. My future self.I will complete every task and goal that is set in my path, no matter how hard or easy the obstacles are, I WILL BECOME HER. I am ready, I have to be ready, am I scared to become her.. YESS!!!!!! But I know I can do it, I will do it. I also am aware of setbacks that may come at any time, and i'm alright with that. I am planning to go into the navy to pursue an anesthesiologist. 

 Something that was too small was my dreams. Of course when I was a little girl all I wanted was a BMW i8, nothing else, no money, no job, just that car specifically the blue one. Now I have a life sentence full of dream, I want to graduate, go to the military, become a anesthesiologist, expand my lip gloss business, build my own house ground up, take my mom on the biggest shopping spree of her life, buy her they house and truck she wants with no note of her paying mortgage. I want to be the one that can do it all, and not just for the money, for love, staying true and being patient and being a good loyal person. I want to give back to the ones the gave and provided me with knowledge and life times things, even reward the people that think I won't make it, with me making it.

 A question I wished I would have asked was WHY. Why me for anything, if someone wanted me for something. I should have asked WHY ME. I sometimes don't understand why I was chosen to handle this , or do this , or was recommended for this. I love that I was and still am about the impress with everything I do and have done, but WHY ME. Every since elementary school all the way up until now I have been the only, maybe not the only one but the first option. I understand everything i do is my choice and yes, lots of things come a little more natural to me than others, but I just want to know why. I know all I have to do is ask but it be the same answer over and over again, never something different. 

 One person I forgot about was ME. In middle school and sometimes even now, I forget about myself. When it comes to making money, caring too much for other people, and not giving love to myself. I am a very creative girl, for example I can make candy crack grapes, and sometimes I cheat myself on the prices I charge them, which causes people to take advantage of my low prices. Also when i'm caring for other people I sometimes lose myself in their problems trying to relate them to my set back, bad habitats, and problems. I have FINALLY learned that some people are a HUGE waste of your time and make sure you have a good group of people to talk to; to help with your problems. Don't hold It In, It Will Eat You Alive!!

 Something that I knew was over was a friendship. I had an all girls friendship in middle school from 6th to 8th grade. Our high school was having cheer-leading tryouts and I didn't make the team, but my " friends did." So once school started, they stopped talking to me. They left me to fend for myself walking into the world of high school. But I was OK.  It still bothers me till this day, because it makes me feel like I did something wrong, like I wasn't good enough to be friends with. But I have a few friends now with a tiny circle, and that is something I am more than OK with!!

 Having no fun is when, we were locked down in school, when I have nothing to watch on Netflix, waking up at 6 am for a school that is overwhelmed.  I have understood that you can make fun of anything. Now when I wake up for school I have no motivation, it's dreading, sometimes its not safe, sometimes there is so much chaos, making me not want to go to school. Once I have watched all the seasons on the show I find it interesting, I am bored and I have nothing to watch. As I am a cheerleader and a cadet in NJROTC we have practice I get home a little late, I be going to sleep late sometimes, but it is almost over as i'm graduating next year. 

 I am 100% CERTAIN I am going to the military.As I join NJROTC in 9th grade I already know what it was hitting for. My career path is an anesthesiologist, so once I found that job in the Navy, I was already ready. I will be going to college before I go in so once I go in I will be an officer. I have an opportunity, for something special that I will be taking but won't be talked about in my blog ,, sorry.. ITS CONFIDENTIAL!!  ( if i tell you i would have to kill you 😂😂😂😂 )

Thank you,  Mom, My Teachers, My Coaches Thank you for giving me courage, motivation, and happiness. Thank you for being the best mother any girl could ask for. Thank you for the sacrifice you had and have to make for us. Thank you to my teachers, for being honestly one of the best group of teachers I have had as being in high school, and this extra credit is really helping my grade!!! Thank you to my coaches for staying committed the whole season, even  when it got hard. Thank you to everyone for keeping me safe and taking time to work with me to understand everything, life, assignments.

 Honestly I haven't had a secret that has been kept from me but I have kept a secret from my mom. the secret I kept from her was buying her a gift, so I had a pop up shop and I made some GOOD money. I wanted to buy her a gift , which I did. So the next day we calculated how much I had already spent so I was like I just bought a book off amazon that was $36.99 not including tax. Then she was like, what book cost $40 and I told her a business book.. she understood that since I have my own business. Three days later her gift came, and since I was at school and she was at home she got my package from outside.. I told her she CAN"T open it. Once I got home I gave it to her to open and it was a necklace with I love you written in every different language  

 This particular thing did not happen to me but at my elementary school we had  Valentine's Day cupcake  gifts. So basically there were 3 different colors, white meaning friendship, pink meaning I like you, and red meaning I love you. With that being said a boy bought a girl a pink cupcake, but the thing is he didn't know that it would be a sticker on the cupcake stating who it was from and going to. After all the cupcakes were passed out our teacher had everyone that received a cupcake to read who it was from and that's how we all knew the boy liked the girl.  The funniest part of the whole situation was he tried to deny it.

what if I wasn't here would things be better, different, would people be happier.. Am I the problem Everyone would be happy without me Sorry for being mean, sorry for yelling  sorry sorry sorry  sorry for taking your kindness for weakness  what can I do for you to aspect my apology  I know saying sorry is not always enough because if you drop a plate and it breaks  even if you say sorry the plate will still be broken I apologize and I hope you can forgive me 

One thing I don't exactly remember is being born and growing up from the age of 1 to 4. Another thing was I don't remember how I broke my toe, I just knew I broke it I remember having a cast. Neither do I remember Pre K, all I remember taking the naps and eating gold fish, the rainbow kind. Surprisingly I don't remember 2nd grade either besides the movie we watched. I don't even know what movie it was. 

 Since we have dogs at home, we have female and male dogs.  So the male dog got the female dog pregnant  and she had 11 puppies and, her birth was silent and the noise came from her puppies crying. There was still blood but not a lot and the mother was getting real aggressive when someone tried to pick up one of her puppies. To keep the puppies clean she licked the slime sack off all of her puppies, which caused her to get a rash round her mouth. After all of her puppies almost sucked the life out of her we had to feed her more food then the other dogs.

One day I went to a water park with some friends. I bought a swim suit, but it was too small,  but I wore it anyway. I wore it because it was cute. Luckily I had a cover up matched so I just kept that on all day. The bad thing about me wearing, was that it was supposed to keep me dry so I was wet the whole way home.

 When I was little I used to be able to put my leg behind my head. Now when I try to do it, it won't go past my shoulder. Another thing I used to be able to do was, do 30 backhand springs, now I can only do 15, literally half. I can still do things that I was able to do when I was younger.

 On my cousins  16th birthday she wanted a Honda Accord, which she got. Her parents bought her the car but it was used, she didn't want it. So they had to sell the car to buy her a new Honda Accord which she was happy for but she didn't drive the used car until they bought her the new one.

 In our old house my cousin came over and we got on top of the roof. A man and his daughter were walking the neighborhood and they came to my moms front door and told my mom . Before we knew it she was calling us down stairs and called my grandma and right before we knew it again we were getting a whopping. No one cried because we were all prepared for that whopping.

 What I have too much of is lip gloss. Since I have my own lip gloss business, I have to keep a high stock on all my lip glosses. I may have over 300 lip glosses in my room right now. Just because of the lip gloss I also have too much glitter and shimmer that I use for my lip glosses. Plus the tubes I have to put my lip gloss in, I probably have over 200 lip gloss tubes.

 A few things I can't deny is that I love being a cheer leader. I have been cheering since I was 3 years old. I have an opportunity to be the highest rank in ROTC but I would have to make a sacrifice of being a cheer leader. On the other hand my cheer coach is not hearing it, me not cheering is NOT an option. It will be my senior year. So ROTC had a meeting with my mom and all went well, without them explaining why I wouldn't be able to cheer. So I had my cheer coach and another well known person in the school to talk to them from and coach and an understandable person of where i'm coming from. So there is a high possibility that I will be able to do both, and I will do BOTH. 

 One thing I obsess over that is meaningless is turning any volume on the increment of 5. If i'm watching TV its on 25, if its too low it goes to 30, no where in between. Unlike my phone I just keep it on half of the volume, and on my computer. I mean nothing, but when a TV is not going by 5 it makes my skin itch and I just have to urge to change it, and I do.